there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
