i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
