but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
