I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
