Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
