I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
