Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
