I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
