so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize