this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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