the day after is always just damage control
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
