it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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