Will you blow on my dice?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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