Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
