High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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