stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
