Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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