I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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