I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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