her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
