when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
