I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
