he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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