using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
