how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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