i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
