Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
