The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
