he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
