med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
