I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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