Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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