I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Please don't give away my fajitas
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
