If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
