I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want to make out with him forever
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
