Who wears a wallet chain?!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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