i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
