Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
