Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
