so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Found the puke drawer
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
