I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
