Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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