i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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