I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
