In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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