is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize