i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
