We're facebook friends in real life
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
