well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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