Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
