Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
