fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The air was thick with penises
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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