I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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