I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
