I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
where are you?
Hypothermia
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
