she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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