Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
