I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
tell me about the fingering
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
