Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize