butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She bit a glass in half.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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