Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
