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• (302): View more from Delaware

  So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM

  (416): View more from Toronto

  From?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.

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• (714): View more from California

  He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.

  (1-714): View more from California

  That is my stoner wet dream!

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel really sorry for my toilet right now

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