I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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