worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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