It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
