Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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