we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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