I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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