she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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