If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
