I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
